Dear Desk, Please keep your corners out of my hip bones. Sincerely, cuileann

There are a few important expectations I have of the world around me, or assumptions - sort of an "I'll do my bit if you do yours" deal. They're pretty basic, I think - e.g. that objects of a life-endangering size will not fall from the sky, that I will wake up every morning as the same person that I was when I fell asleep  and the universe does a pretty good job fulfilling its obligations.

There is one point, however, on which I am none too infrequently frustrated, and that is on my expectation that furniture and other such objects in my environs not move or otherwise behave in a hostile manner.

Generally, they do not, but they have their rebellious days. You know what I'm talking about. Those days when you are positive it's the chair that keeps running into you and not the other way around. Today is one of those days for me.

And to be honest, I'm not in the mood for their games right now. Life does a fine job being stressful without the inanimate objects acting up.


J.N. Future Author 10/15/2008 1:26 PM  

Now if only my homework would stay where i left it...

Patrice 10/15/2008 1:30 PM  

I have this problem with doors and shopping carts. They have minds of their own. Silly inanimate objects!

Edge 10/15/2008 1:57 PM  

Why couldn't the objects you don't want to see move themselves? Like a particular Shakespeare anthology? Or the stack of dishes in the sink?

Q 10/15/2008 1:58 PM  

I love the title of this post.

Gem 10/15/2008 6:56 PM  

oh man, i have the exact same problem! i pretty much always have a bruise somewhere on my body from pieces of furniture being a pain in the ass and getting in my way.

enc 10/15/2008 7:05 PM  

I'm so sorry to hear that the desk is attacking you. Call the Guards!

odessa 10/16/2008 7:57 PM  

ha, i only know this too well! why, just now the desk bumped into me. silly, silly desk.

lishlove 10/17/2008 3:23 AM  

I always get attacked by inanimate objects when I'm feeling my lowest or most irritated, such that I am likely to be heard emitting a sincerely over-dramatised scream. However, I have learned that the more you scream and curse, the better you feel. So it works out well ;)

Heather Zundel 10/17/2008 4:10 AM  

I have a kitchen table that is just like that. It is the perfect height for my thigh, and I have almost had puncture wounds from that thing. I have a perpetual bruise on both legs from exactly that height. We have an uneasy relationship.

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