Tried and tired



Of course it's on the heels of these two posts that I am having the hardest time keeping my eating regular that I've had all semester.

I think of a couple lines from a Brecht poem that go: "Alas, we/Who wished to lay the foundations of kindness/Could not ourselves be kind."

That's how I feel at my worst. All these tremendous changes I wish for in the wider world, and I can't even implement them successfully in my own life every day.

But no, that's not what is going to happen in the long term. I will come out on top again. Defiance, defiance.

Right now I'm just hauling myself through each day as well as I can. The beautiful parts are still very beautiful, though. All the more beautiful, actually.

P.S. Sarah Von of Yes and Yes has kindly reposted Your Surrender is Significant. You might enjoy the comments.

8 comments:

Sarah Louise 4/15/2010 10:23 AM  

i'm glad you're doing the hauling, as work intensive as it may feel. and I pray that some of the heaviness of the haul lifts. If misery loves company, I'm hauling my own heavy, overpacked suitcase of issues. Learning again that mostly, I only learn the hard way.

Keep fighting, my dear. We'll fight side by side, if only nearby in cyberspace.

xo,
SL

Corrine/Frock And Roll 4/15/2010 10:27 AM  

That is an absolutely BEAUTIFUL photo of you, Holly!

pinkapplecore 4/15/2010 12:01 PM  

I say eat what you want to eat when you want to eat it.

I give you huggles!!!

Holly 4/15/2010 12:39 PM  

Sarah Louise - Thank you. Do you remember when Oswald Chambers writes that we are given everything we need for that day, but only for that day...that's one of the lessons for my now. Just have to remember that God always provides more strength and blessing in time for tomorrow. (Proud to fight alongside you. <3)

Corrine - Thank you! I was concentrating on self-portraits for a week or so with another blogger, and this is one of the results. *beams*

pinkapplecore - *hugglesback* It's a good plan. Not always as easy as it is simple, but I'm trying.

Every time it rains she just feels a lot better... 4/15/2010 7:37 PM  

You can do it. You can.

Plus, your picture is lovely.

Holly 4/15/2010 7:42 PM  

Every time it rains... - I will, and I will not get lost.

aipingplum 4/15/2010 11:07 PM  

Gah, love that pic! What is that dress?

Holly 4/16/2010 9:54 AM  

aipingplum - It's a petticoat!

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