Needing



Lately I am needing (very badly, if I do not allow myself these I barely get by):

faith in my own narrative, that it will be meaningful. and that it will be meaningful without me knowing how.

to honor my my in-between times, when I am neither well nor sick, neither certain nor lost, containing fear and grief as well as joy and love

patience with myself, my confusion and my stumbling fingers

to close my eyes and breathe like this: i am okay (inhale) this will pass (exhale)

to remember that it is not up to me to please anyone but God.

And you, what do you find yourself needing this season?

11 comments:

pinkapplecore 6/22/2010 10:14 PM  

hmm more adventure!!! and they opened the park pool back up.

geekspawn 6/22/2010 10:19 PM  

your first need. oh, and second need. and fifth need. i think we are soul sisters.
and peace with my decisions, permission from myself to not always be okay, and strength to slap myself in the face once I'm not okay for too long and am just making myself worse. words, real words that aren't trying to make me feel better or convince me of anything but words that reaffirm what I already know and say what I know is what I am supposed to know. confidence that who I am is not a mistake. time. mostly peace and time.

Holly 6/22/2010 11:34 PM  

pinkapplecore - what kind will you seek out/make?

geekspawn - yes, but we knew that, didn't we. shanti, shanti, shanti...

Amber 6/23/2010 5:07 AM  

Toast. At the moment, I need toast practically all the time.

pinkapplecore 6/23/2010 8:28 AM  

hmmm not sure yet, but as long as it involves new experiences I should be good!

Jenica 6/23/2010 8:32 AM  

I most need to KNOW what I need, then I might be able to do something about it. I'm a bit conflicted and restless and longing right now, but not sure why or what for...
(One thing I do know--as always, there's nothing like a thick tome in my hands! I always need that.)

Sherry 6/23/2010 7:54 PM  

exactly that. and i needed you to tell me. thank you!

Erin 6/23/2010 8:52 PM  

yours and geekspawn's.

Cheray 6/25/2010 6:14 PM  

Your number 4...
everyday!

aipingplum 6/26/2010 11:30 PM  

::sigh:: I've missed your blog. Finally had a chance to sit down and zone out into bloggy world for a while...so nice but keeping me up way too late again...

<3 the pic and your thoughts, hope you're feeling better about things than on Friday...miss u!

Holly 6/27/2010 9:48 PM  

Amber - With cream cheese and jam or something even tastier, I hope.

pinkapplecore - nods nods.

Jenica - Yes...always a good first step, haha. Journaling is how I figure that out.

Sherry - It's quite nice to see you blogging again. <3

Erin - And I hope it is not too hard to attend to those needs, my love.

Cheray - Ah, I'm sorry you are under so much stress? Blowing some peace your way.

aipingplum - Welcome back, lady. :) I definitely am feeling better. Thank you muchly for your guru thoughts.

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