2011: Intentions

Concrete things like "exercise more" or "procrastinate less"—I would rather deal with those on a more immediate basis than make year-long resolutions. When you look back on a year, you look for wide impressions, landscape views, and that's how I prefer to look over the coming year as well. 

My wide intention for the year is to risk more. Especially:

To do more things that I'm not certain I will succeed at or enjoy.
     Simple enough; another assault on the dreaded inner tyrant Perfectionist. Less hesitation, bolder ambitions, more attempts, more new things...more messes and failures, and more learning.

And to lower my guard a bit.
     I sometimes hold bad grudges with people I know, and I can keep friendships with new people at a superficial level almost indefinitely. But trust will never not be a risk, as long as people are imperfect—and when I do not trust enough, my friendships stagnate and I start to feel very lonely, and it's no good. Yet how to stop being afraid of the pain of being hurt by a friend? I suppose it's like any other emotional fear: If you wait to act until it's gone, you will never move, so you acknowledge it and then you make your way through it.

I am not going to let myself simply hold my ground this year.

10 comments:

Kez 1/09/2011 4:05 AM  

That's a very brave intention to have - I wish you the best for 2011 :)

Holly 1/09/2011 5:20 AM  

Kez - Thank you; same to you!

pinkapplecore 1/09/2011 5:48 AM  

I love it! I don't think you'll have a problem achieving it either.

Heidi 1/09/2011 9:16 AM  

I agree with you about concrete things - they're so much better fixed immediately. I really like your wide intention, too... it's something I strive for (with varied success) throughout my life.

sayanotherlexi 1/09/2011 12:37 PM  

I think 'to risk more' is a fantastic resolution!

sui 1/09/2011 5:50 PM  

Oh dear. These are EXACTLY my main focuses (foci?) for this year, too. Awesome. I'm really challenging myself to effectively murder (hah, hah) my comfort zone, take risks, & open up myself to new people & connections.

I'm rooting for you!

Holly 1/09/2011 9:40 PM  

pinkapplecore - :) Thanks for the encouragement.

Heidi - I was realizing throughout this past semester that I really need to work on those areas...especially the relational risks. I hope (and believe) having a conscious focus will be the antidote for some of the emotional stagnation (or rather, forward-and-back-again) that I'd been sensing.

Lexi - I am sorely in need of it; I do not want to end up boring and fearful!

sui - OH yes. I am an abuser of the comfort zone as well--it is not meant to be a place to live out the entirety of one's existence. We have good things coming to us...if you are like me, the initial push is most of the work. xo.

Jenica 1/09/2011 9:41 PM  

That's a great resolution. Like you, exercising more and procrastinating less are things I want to do but that I didn't feel the need to make into "resolutions". I only have one--zeal.

Holly 1/09/2011 10:06 PM  

Jenica - A strong word. More zeal in all parts of your life?

Jenica 1/10/2011 7:15 AM  

Yes, and especially for God.

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