Asleep or awake,/what difference does it make?

One of last fall's songs + one of this summer's songs.

Not sleeping — or living — very well lately. Except for when I'm hyper on caffeine, I feel sluggish and dull, suffocating on food and screen time, suffocating inside my prickly layers in this cold room. I don't really have enough of a courseload to keep me busy, though I'm hardly doing as much as I could for the ones I do have.

hate waking up in the afternoon, and I hate too-long or inadvertent naps. I don't want this groggy restless feeling; I want to feel alert and awake and properly alive. It's so easy to be bored (how is it that "entertainment" is not the opposite of boredom?), but so shameful. What a WASTE. I won't live like this, I refuse to live like this...

13 comments:

Q 11/01/2011 7:23 PM  

I think you need a project. I always feel better when I am doing something productive outside of school––like work, or knitting.

Holly 11/01/2011 8:03 PM  

Q - Knitting actually occurred to me last night; THANK YOU for reminding me. I was knitting constantly on a project of my friend's when I was visiting her last month, and it reminded me how much I miss it...so what if I don't *need* a scarf, who cares? I'll buy some supplies tomorrow.

Gabi Dickinson 11/02/2011 11:37 AM  

You could write letters to while away the time and feel closer to friends? ;)

Noël De Vries 11/03/2011 6:14 AM  

you could knit ME a scarf. :) my coat is grey.

Holly 11/03/2011 8:52 AM  

Gabi - Aside from that being an excellent idea for its own sake, letter-writing really does help me shake the inertia. (You're at the top of my wall-list of people to write, btw!)

Noel - My coat used to be gray. Q made me a scarf and hat which went so nice with it, but it died, sadly. Anyway, thank you for volunteering. :D

Sarah 11/03/2011 12:23 PM  

Oooh I second the knitting suggestion. I don't need a scarf, but my neighborhood's stop signs do. ^_^

Holly 11/03/2011 1:39 PM  

Sarah - Does that mean you're on a guerilla knitting team?

Gabi Dickinson 11/03/2011 2:09 PM  

Oooh! LIKE :)

odessa 11/05/2011 2:41 AM  

knitting sounds like a great idea. though i don't know how to do it myself, its always been in my list of things to learn. or you can always start watching that historical chinese show that i was talking to you about. ;)

Q 11/05/2011 9:17 AM  

Oh dear! What died?

And yes, knitting for other people is the best. That's what I'm doing--asking people if they like any of the yarn I already have and then using it to make something for them.

Holly 11/05/2011 10:29 AM  

Q - Oh no: the COAT did. (I'd had it since '05 or '06, and the feltiness of the wool was wearing thin, plus it was on the small side.) Your scarf and hat are in the best of health.

odessa - I do have that one bookmarked, though I scarcely need more time in front of a screen, haha. Knitting is so easy, at least basic knitting -- I really should just teach you sometime over tea at the J-town mall. Or we could go to that super nice super yuppie yarn store on Sanchez first for you to pick out your materials...

Elizabeth 11/14/2011 6:12 AM  

here is something I understand! I do waste so much time laying around staring at a screen, doing nothing, sleeping away gorgeous days while staying up on dull and pointless nights...

Holly 11/16/2011 11:38 AM  

Elizabeth - It is a dreadful inertia...I find it even more difficult to fight when I don't have classes or work, so indeed, it is definitely not just you.

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