With love and vigor

Not long till solstice and still no snow.

This year when I'm deciding what to do with my hours, I have been thinking about what will be worth remembering and what the vigorous thing to do would be. (I love that word. I love vigorous people. I hope I am one.) It often runs contrary to what would feel most comfortable, but it doesn't feel like fighting with myself; it feels more like clearing away the junk from around my intuition.

I've thrown so much time away simply because I thought it wasn't mine — time when I was "supposed" to be doing other things. Why is it a rule that when you're procrastinating, you have to be numbing your brain, bouncing around from website to website or similar? That's not how it has to be. It's stupid. It results in nothing worth remembering, and it's not even enjoyable. More about that later.

Tonight I walked home at a leisurely pace, in the middle of the street and singing. Twenty-five degrees. Orion has swung to the south, and my voice was echoing off of...something. I went past my house to the end of the block before turning back, because it was a good song.

I might remember that someday. I might remember this fall as the one I spent singing, because I was finding out that my voice is not as bad as I'd always thought. I wouldn't mind that.


Heidi 12/08/2011 9:21 AM  

I'm curious about your thoughts on procrastination and using time wisely. How do you discipline yourself not to waste any precious moments of this life? It's something I always aim to do, and yet nearly always fail to do.

Also, I agree with you -- vigorous people are the best kind.

sui 12/08/2011 3:45 PM  

Holly-- ASDF your writing is ASDF good/moving/askjdfhdjlxf

Holly and Heidi both-- I've realized that no matter how you try to LIVE LIVE LIVE in every second of your life-- even doing your best to-- there will be downtime. there will be times when I don't want to do anything, I don't want to work on stuff that makes me feel alive or contribute or connect. there are times when I just want to flop down and search beautiful photos for inspiration, let my mind wander, and watch funny youtube videos.

I think you can do it without "binging" (metaphorically) though. but even so, I still find that I do sometimes. (it's a step up from overloading my body, at least.) will I ever be completely free of that-- of little actions like that? I'll tell you if I ever get there.

Holly 12/08/2011 9:16 PM  

Heidi - The main things for me are to stay aware of all the possibilities I have to choose from -- to realize the extent of my choices as well as my freedom -- and to listen to my intuition both when it sounds spontaneous and when it sounds responsible.

Sui - I agree, downtime is definitely necessary. And there's good downtime and there is bad downtime, ditto with procrastination -- which is to say, satisfying downtime and unsatisfying downtime. And I was totally thinking of parallels to eating too! Very analogous...

Heidi 12/09/2011 12:49 PM  

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, both of you. It's good food for thought for me, especially approaching a new year. :)

Holly 12/09/2011 10:32 PM  

Heidi - Yes, these are important practical considerations. Follow-up post tomorrow.

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