Morning / Black tea and self-questions

The water in  the kettle was still hot, but I boiled it fresh and let the tea steep for precisely five minutes, with honey swirling in the bottom of the mug. (My enormous blue bowl-mug, eighteen ounces, a gift made to me on my twenty-first birthday, one of countless nights sitting on the floor in my friends' dorm room under the sloping ceilings of the fourth floor...)

I considered the oolong, subtle and on its recommended second brewing, and Hannah's green jasmine, but I decided in favor of the black. It is my favorite, a distinctive tea called lapsang souchong which smells like a wood fire on account of its leaves having been smoked during the drying process.

I drink it to feel strong.

What would I do today if I had woken absolutely full of peace and joy and certainty?

I would reply with my résumé to that HR woman. I would contact my ex-employers. I would walk to the far library, the one by the ocean, and write some letters.

I would put my feet on this floor and stand up, and I would pin my hair back.

I did not wake up today full of peace and joy and certainty. I woke up today, and I stood up and pinned my hair back.

12 comments:

Sarah Louise 1/31/2012 11:52 AM  

wunderschon.

puddleswithgasolinerainbows 1/31/2012 12:59 PM  

oh oh thank you. this was needed.
-elizabeth

sui 1/31/2012 1:00 PM  

ohh, yes.

this post was beautiful, holly. thank you for writing it.

ALSO... looks like you'd get along with aimee, and you'd like all the (damn overpriced. seriously) fancy tea houses here in montreal...

next time, it'll be you me (+ aimee) in montreal. dancing and drinking tea (and screwing-- as in, forgetting about-- stupid boys. ahaha)

Holly 1/31/2012 3:31 PM  

SL - Danke schön.

Elizabeth - I'm glad -- you are welcome.

sui - Thank YOU. Heh, I enjoy overpriced tea places, definitely. YES I like this picture a lot. OR in New York?!

sui 1/31/2012 4:30 PM  

wait... why are you thanking ME for YOUR brilliance, hollywolly? :P

Holly 1/31/2012 7:37 PM  

sui - I'm grateful for your inspiration, and for your presence here.

Dawn 1/31/2012 11:42 PM  

yeah, I get it. you're not alone sweet friend. some days just getting out of bed is the best victory of the day. remember it is a victory, no matter how small :)

Noël De Vries 2/01/2012 6:42 AM  

lapsang souchong... sigh.

but i did enjoy some mandarin last night (danke) and as I read I gasped, Ah! she sent me ORANGE tea! :)

Elizabeth 2/01/2012 2:29 PM  

you and your words, I swear. you belong together.

Holly 2/02/2012 3:50 PM  

Dawn - Needed. Thank you.

Noel - I don't remember -- you don't enjoy lapsang souchong, is it?

Elizabeth - Thank you <3

Nicole 2/03/2012 4:28 PM  

I encountered someone recently (I think/hope she will become a friend) who loves lapsang souchong tea. I tried it, and appreciated the newness of the stimulation to my tastebuds, but it left me feeling a little queasy.

Your closing line made me sigh. In relief, I think.

Holly 2/03/2012 10:03 PM  

Nicole - I hope so, too. <3

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